The Leveson Inquiry

Tomorrow sees the publication of the report of the Leveson Inquiry, the result of which will go one of two ways: either the Government will have to step in and regulate the press, or things will stay as they are and the press can continue to do it themselves.

I am most definitely in favour of the former, and not the latter.  Why?  Because the second outcome will be a massive disappointment to every single person in the United Kingdom, unless you happen to be a politician, a journalist or a media mogul.

It is, at first, difficult to comprehend why it is that an elected official could be so in favour of self-regulation of the press. You would think that a politician couldn't wait to get his hands on them, and tell them exactly what they can or cannot print.  Until, that is, you realise that the people who stand to lose the most are the politicians themselves, because they are no longer able to cosy up to their favourite editor and get them to print whatever deceitful nonsense about their opponents that they like.  The days of spin will be numbered. 

Hugh Grant spent the last few months filming a documentary which, as he pointed out, had to be open and unbiased on order to comply with Ofcom rules.  But, he said, how can it be unbiased when the opposing side won't talk to him?  This left him open to abuse in the press, The Daily Mail in particular, which they did, predictably and gleefully. 

A former journalist who did agree to talk said this: something is by definition in the public interest if the public are interested in it.  How can this be?  For a definition to be effective, it has to be universally true, doesn't it?  Therefore, if two people are standing in a queue to buy a paper of a Sunday morning, and one of them is interested in a salacious story about a rock star's illegitimate daughter and her drug habit while the other isn't, that means that the definition 'public interest' cannot be applied here. To justify it in this way is simply an exercise in pulling the wool over people's eyes, just as in political spin. I hope that Leveson does not give in to political pressure and allow the press free reign to continue to govern itself.

There is no evidence whatsoever that to regulate the press externally would be to shackle it. Indeed, it would make for fairer reporting, especially where politics is concerned, and that is what politicians are most afraid of. At election time, they don't want you to read an unbiased assessment of their opponent, they want mud slung at them.  So they resort to tired and cheap arguments like 'You lefties want us to lead an example that the likes of North Korea would be happy to follow,' or 'The press has regulated itself for 300 years, why change it now?'  That last one came from Boris Johnson, who seems to think that all he's got to do is bluster his way through an argument, and he's won the point.  No, Boris.

It is time for the Government to take perhaps the boldest move it has ever taken and regulate the press.  Not shackle it, or silence it, or prevent it from reporting fair and honest news, but just to stop it from going through Michael Barrymore's rubbish bins or hacking Charlotte Church's phone in the 'public interest,' because it is immoral and wrong and there are some members of the public who just aren't interested.

Guitar Pee

Brazilian designers with too much time on their hands have come up with this: a urinal that will play a guitar solo depending upon what 'strings' you pee on.  This is most definitely a 'boys' toy, because girls can't use it. My sources tell me that they are working on a female version of the device.  Any road, the best part about the whole thing is that, once you have done your business, the urinal will provide you with a number (I cannot believe I am writing this) that you can access on your mobile device with which you can download an...an...wait for it...MPEE3 of your 'solo.'  

First of all, this is a great idea.  But, you must of course exercise caution when taking advantage of this device's capabilities.  Before whipping out your cell phone, be sure to wash your hands!  In addition, it is advisable to resist the temptation to spray your wee in every which direction in order to achieve that Richie Sambora guitar squeal, and don't pull any Sambora guitar faces either, you must look at what you are doing at all times.  Indeed, certain guitar styles, such as the Eddie Van Halen 'tap' or the Mark Knopfler 'money shot' part of the 'Sultans of Swing' solo, are not good ideas to try unless you really know what you are doing.  

What next?  Dump drumming?  Anyway, what do I know?  Here's the link:

http://www.designboom.com/technology/guitar-pee-musical-urinal/

See you later x

Muse Score app version

Well, it seems that the chaps over at Muse Score, the wonderful free music writing software, have done what Sibelius, or indeed any other half-decent rival should have done and created an android app for viewing music.  Fantastic.  It won't be long before composers are writing their next symphony on their mobile phone while on the bus on their way to a football match. I would post a link on here but I've no idea how to do it on a phone.  I'll save that for another blog. Meanwhile, i will share this thought with you.  While writing the word Sibelius on my phone, the predictive text first suggested "phallus". X

UPDATE: Here is the link for the ANDROID app:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.musescore.player&referrer=utm_source%3Dmusescore.com%26utm_medium%3Dandroid-link

As you can see, they are charging three quid for it, which is about three quid more than the PC version of the software costs.  Still, I suppose they've got to make their money somewhere.

If, on the other hand, you possess an iPhone / iPad / iPod Touch, and have the misfortune to live outside of the United States of America, then you're in trouble.  This particular app is not available in your country; you have two choices.  Either sell up and move to the US as quickly as possible (good luck getting a work visa), or get yourself a proper phone.  iTunes won't even provide me with a link to the app on their store, so I can't give it to you. x

The UK Chart Company

Yesterday we all celebrated 60 years since the first singles chart was published here in the United Kingdom. All good so far, until the UK Chart company used that same day to shut down www.chartstats.com, a fantastic site that I had been using for over ten years. Why do they feel the need to do this? This sort of information should be in the public domain.  And if the UK chart company produced anything that was nearly as good then we would all be using it. But they don't, and yet they still feel the need to shut down website that produce this information for no profit whatsoever. They haven't heard the last of this from me. I promise. X